On Loneliness and Lover by Taylor Swift
9.13.2019
Have you guys ever felt like there's never going to be anyone for you, ever?
Just a heads up, this post might be cringey for some people so run away as fast as you can if you think this might be a muntah-hijau-worthy post lol. I might delete this post soon but I'm going to see how embarrassed I get by this post first.
If you know me in real life, you'll know I can be a very socially awkward person. I even get awkward talking to my relatives. I get so nervous about talking something someone doesn't wanna hear and I don't wanna hear so usually I just run away from any situation that requires me to talk.
I'm also the kind of person who doesn't just trust people easily. It's good to not trust people too much but when I was in high school, I was so scared to call the friend I had been hanging out all the time with for majority years of high school my best friend even when she was the most trustworthy person I've ever known. On my last year of high school, this boy I had been crushing on for a year talked to me and I'm sure for most people, they'll think OH YEAY HERE'S MY CHANCE but me being me, I got so panicked and half-heartedly replied to all his messages that he eventually gave up, most probably because he thought I wasn't interested. I don't blame him for that because I was the one who was too scared of making an effort.
 |
| Literally me running away from every relationship I have. |
So to sum it up, I'm bad at relationships. I have a poor communicating skill, barely do anything to improve and that's why I'm going to end up as an old grandma in some small town with many cats and a house filled with books (not that I'm going to complain about the books and cats). I know it's laughable for me to write this when I'm just 18 but hey I need to just say this.
Hence when Taylor Swift's new album, Lover, went out on August 23rd with almost all the songs talking about how in love Taylor is with Joe Alwyn, I couldn't stop thinking Wow, will I ever have that kind of love? An I-once-believed-love-would-be-burning-red-but-it's-golden kind of love? I love what Joe is doing with Taylor, she's literally glowing with love, shining with happiness. Call It What You Want and Delicate from her reputation album made me fall in love with Joe along with Taylor and imagine what Lover did to me😂 By this point, I just want to see them get married and cry watching them be happy together.
Usually, when I listen to a lovey-dovey song, it just makes me happy and wanna dance but Lover made me want to cry because of Heck, I'm going to be alone and lonely forever. Lover is the album you listen to when you're already in love and single and lonely people like me shouldn't listen to it😂 But there's no doubt that Lover is definitely on my Top 4 favourite Taylor Swift's album. So now, my TS albums list by ratings look like this:
1. Red
2. reputation
3. Lover
4. Speak Now
5. Fearless
6. Taylor Swift
7. 1989
It changes a lot of times but for now, it looks like that. If you're feeling lonely and are in need of a cheering up, here's a playlist I made that you might like (been listening to this quite a lot for the past few weeks, not gonna lie):
If you're feeling lonely like me, here's something I keep saying to myself: If Taylor Swift can transform from singing about heartbreaks all the time to this girl who dedicates the majority of songs in her album for a man she's so in love with, there's a chance you'll have your someone too. Okay, this post is officially the weirdest thing I've ever written.
First Week of Degree
9.10.2019
I'm a degree student! Yay! Wow, I can't believe I have this blog since I was in Form 2 until now, hahaha. Well, this post is going to be just a simple one, with some pictures and some life update. I'm taking Environmental Science at Science and Natural Resources Faculty, Universiti Malaysia Sabah.
 |
| A candid photo of me taken by my friend on the first day I got to UMS back. |
We started our Minggu Suai Mesra on September 3rd and finished on Thursday with Majlis Akur Janji and some session with Sabah Minister. The whole time Minggu Suai Mesra was going on, everything was so hectic. So hot all the time, everywhere I was going was so crowded, the busses were always full, I hated those parts about Minggu Suai Mesra. Made me so tired, I could barely open my eyes when I got back to my room at night.
My roommates and I are the definitions of 1 Malaysia. One of my roommates is a Chinese Sarawakian and the other one is an Indian from Kuala Lumpur. They are so nice and talkative and so far, living with them is a very refreshing and a nice experience. It's a bit out of my comfort zone, though, because I never live with so much diversity in my life unless you count the multi-racial Sabahans😂
On Friday, we were brought to our faculty by the programme seniors for a tour. My coursemates consist of about 35 students and from their introductions, all of them sounded so cool, we even got one international student from Japan! Looking forward to working with them.
 |
| And lastly, a shameless selfie before I went out to watch It: Chapter 2 with my friends on Saturday. |
The Book Thief by Markus Zusak | Book Review
9.09.2019
It is 1939. Nazi Germany. The country is holding its breath. Death has never been busier and will be busier still.
By her brother's graveside, Liesel's life is changed when she picks up a single object, partially hidden in the snow. It is The Gravedigger's Handbook, left behind there by accident, and it is her first act of book thievery. So begins a love affair with books and words, as Liesel, with the help of her accordion-playing foster father, learns to read. Soon she is stealing books from Nazi book-burnings, the mayor's wife's library, wherever there are books to be found.
But these are dangerous times. When Liesel's foster family hides a Jew in their basement, Liesel's world is both opened up and closed down.
In superbly crafted writing that burns with intensity, award-winning author Markus Zusak has given us one of the most enduring stories of our time.
Like most misery, it started with apparent happiness.
Title: The Book Thief
Author: Markus Zusak
First Publication: September 1st 2005 by Penguin
Pages: 560
Genre: YA, historical fiction (WWII)
Reading format: Physical book
Standalone / Series
review
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
I watched the movie adaptation for this book before and I thought I knew everything about the story but I was really wrong. I haven't learned my lesson from the whole Shadowhunter Chronicles fiasco. I should stop assuming and being a Miss Know-It-All just because I saw the movie adaptation. Experiencing the story again through a book is definitely a more emotionally wrecking and impactful experience especially when I forgot most parts of the movie.
I'll start talking about my favourite thing about this book first; the words. This book must be one of the books that are so beautifully written that I could cry just because of how beautiful the words were. The imagery used by Zusak was so great, it made me see colours. He managed to make me feel as if I was there because of his beautiful but imaginable description of everything; the weather, the situation, the vibe and the people. I fell in love with his writing from the very first page.
People observe the colors of a day only at its beginnings and ends, but to me, it's quite clear that a day merges through a multitude of shades and intonations with each passing moment. A single hour can consist of thousands of different colors. Waxy yellows, cloud-spot blues. Murky darkness. In my line of work, I make it a point to notice them.
This is not the first WWII historical fiction that I read but it certainly brought me lots of new perspectives. The main centres of this book were, of course, the book thieving, the story of the book thief herself and everyone around her. But I also think that the author managed to grasp the powerfulness of words and the effects it had on the society back then. Mein Kampf (My Struggle) by Adolf Hitler was mentioned for a few times in this book and showed the significance of that book. His propaganda was spread through his book and became Hitler's starting point of the chaos that he caused. In this book, we saw how obsessed the Nazi-supporting people were, how they idolized his words that I didn't think that they didn't even consider doing anything other than what he instructed them to do. The fact that Hitler burned all the book was mentioned in The Book Thief also showed how powerful words are that Hitler himself was scared of words.
One of my favourite things in this book was, also, of course, how layered the characters were. I loved how we got to learn some backstories of beloved characters; Hans Hubermann, Max Vanderburg and Rudy Steiner. Since this book was written in Death's POV, he spoiled a lot of things many chapters way before it happened. Most people don't like this but I kinda like it. I think Zusak made this book for the purpose of breaking the readers' hearts lol. He made me feel anxious the whole time I was reading this and I hate feeling anxious so I don't know why the heck I even liked that haha. AND ROSA HUBERMANN. This precious woman. She was a fierce woman and nothing came out of her mouth without Saumensch (idiot) being one of them. However, I could feel so much love radiating from her. It was obvious that she cared about Liesel, Hans and even Max although she tried not to show it.
A human doesn't have a heart like mine. The human heart is a line, whereas my own is a circle, and I have the endless ability to be in the right place at the right time. The consequence of this is that I'm always finding humans at their best and worst. I see their ugly and their beauty, and I wonder how the same thing can be both. Still, they have one thing I envy. Humans, if nothing else, have the good sense to die.
I adored seeing the relationship between Liesel and everyone around her grew. Her friendship with Max, her relationship with Hans, her friendship with Rudy; all of the relationships she had were so precious and were to be appreciated. These relationships were the things that made the ending way more impactful. To conclude, you all should read this book. Or at least, watch the movie. In fact, I'm going to rewatch the movie after this😉
Recommended for: Everyone who enjoys historical fiction sets in World War II, a heart-thumping-making-you-anxious read, a book-loving character, a very precious friendship, the relationship between an adopted child to her foster parents, layered characters and beautifully written story.
Love From A to Z by S.K. Ali | Book Review
9.06.2019
BLURB: A marvel: something you find amazing. Even ordinary-amazing. Like potatoes—because they make French fries happen. Like the perfect fries Adam and his mom used to make together.
An oddity: whatever gives you pause. Like the fact that there are hateful people in the world. Like Zayneb’s teacher, who won’t stop reminding the class how “bad” Muslims are.
But Zayneb, the only Muslim in class, isn’t bad. She’s angry. When she gets suspended for confronting her teacher, and he begins investigating her activist friends, Zayneb heads to her aunt’s house in Doha, Qatar, for an early start to spring break.
Fueled by the guilt of getting her friends in trouble, she resolves to try out a newer, “nicer” version of herself in a place where no one knows her.
Then her path crosses with Adam’s.
Since he got diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in November, Adam’s stopped going to classes, intent, instead, on perfecting the making of things. Intent on keeping the memory of his mom alive for his little sister. Adam’s also intent on keeping his diagnosis a secret from his grieving father.
Alone, Adam and Zayneb are playing roles for others, keeping their real thoughts locked away in their journals.
Until a marvel and an oddity occurs…
Marvel: Adam and Zayneb meeting.
Oddity: Adam and Zayneb meeting. (Goodreads).
Maybe that’s what living is—recognizing the marvels and oddities around you.
Title: Love From A to Z
Author: S.K. Ali
Publication: April 30th 2019 by Salaam Reads
Pages: 384
Genre: YA, contemporary, romance
Reading Format: E-book
Standalone /
review
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
First of all, I want to praise S.K. Ali for always writing books with a wonderful and honest representation of the Muslim community. Saints and Misfits, her previous book, is already in my all-time-favourite book list and this one managed to be in the list too. There are so many things that I love about this book and I don't know which one I should begin talking about...
This book managed to tackle some important issues but at the same time, it still felt like a very breezy romance book. I don't know how authors do this but they have the magic to have a light and fun narrative while discussing important issues and for this book, behind the cute love story between Adam and Zayneb, there is a very angry girl who's trying to fight Islamophobia thrown in her way and there is a boy hiding his multiple sclerosis from his family. These are important issues to be discussed and the author managed to do so in a light tone. Magical!
Love from A to Z shows me how it feels to live as a Muslim when you're a part of a minority group and most of all, remind me of all the things that I love in Islam and what I love in being a Muslim.
"But then didn't you say you like being Muslim because there's peace in it?" "Well, I'm looking for it, for the peace in things. That's why I'm a Muslim. It's someone who knows there's more to life than just going through it, letting things happen. I make sense of everything, that there's more to it than just me and my worries, knowing it's all connected."
In this book, she opened my eyes even more to a very serious issue that is Islamophobia. I had seen it before; in Youtube comments of a Muslim Youtuber video, from the stories of my teacher who studied abroad, from people tweets, I've seen pictures of sisters, brothers and children that grow up in war and I was angry for them but when I read this book, I was in Zayneb's head and I realized I was never angry enough.
The main character, Zayneb, was very expressive of her thoughts on Islamophobia, she was angry for her oppressed community and she actually tried to do something to fight against hateful voices towards Islam. I realized I had been living in a safe bubble among the Muslim community but I never actually play a role in something that can actually help my Muslim brothers and sister. The characters; Zayneb, Kavi, Ayaan and Noemi inspire the readers to be dauntless in voicing their opinion and the truth in a brilliant way, without any violence, proving every anti-Islam assumption wrong.
That itch in your heart was put there by God. Your bravery, too. Don't let anyone squash it- it's like squashing the source of it.
Another thing that I really enjoyed reading in this book was the friendship between the DIS crew and Adam. And also how accepting they were of Zayneb's expressive personality; they accepted her the way she was instead of being weirded out when she sounded her opinion. It still amazed me that friendship can bloom and transcends race, faith, appearance and every other thing that generally identifies a person. I would love this book even more if there was more story about their friendship, though. I'm a sucker for healthy friendships.
And lastly, of course, I love how cute the love story between Zayneb and Adam was. CAN I GET MY OWN ADAM ALREADY? These days, when I read an insta-love story, my brain instantly rejects it but when I was reading this book, it seemed like that part of my brain was switched off. I fell in love with their story as they fell in love with each other. I love how they couldn't resist each other even when they realized they were so different from each other (opposites-attract trope here!) and when they finally accepted their differences, they worked really well together that I wonder if I will ever have that kind of relationship (lolbutseriously).
I also love the author's take on "following the rules" because I've been wanting to see that in books for so long. Adam and Zayneb's love story, while being very cute, is very halal at the same time. The Muslim romance portrayal in this book is so far the best I had read in YA (even the romance I read in Bahasa Melayu are defeated) and I really appreciate it. I never thought that a very good Muslim romance representation and cute romance could ever be in the same book and this book proved me wrong. This book is unapologetically Muslim and I really love this book for that.
All in all, I love this book so much and deserves all the stars in the world I can ever give.
Recommended for: Everyone who enjoys cute halal romance, diverse read, accurate Islamic representation in YA books, opposites-attract trope
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Social Icons