Nabila

Featuring this bougainvillaea from my Mom's mini garden :)

1. What are you wearing?

2. Ever been in love?

3. Ever had a terrible breakup?

4. How tall are you?

5. How much do you weigh?

6. Any tattoos?

7. Any piercings?

8. OTP(s)?

9. Favourite show?

10. Favourite bands? (yes K-pop groups do count)

11. Something you miss?

12. Favourite song?

13. How old are you?

14. Zodiac sign?

15. Quality you look for in a partner?

16. Favourite quote?

17. Favourite actor/actress?

18. Favourite colour?

19. Loud music or soft?

20. Where do you go when you're sad?

21. How long does it take you to shower?

22. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?

23. Ever been in a physical fight?

24. Turn on?

25. Turn off?

26. The reason I joined Blogger?

27. Fears?

28. Last thing that made you cry?

29. Last time you said you loved someone? 

30. Meaning behind your blog URL?

31. Last book you read? 

32. The book you're currently reading? 

33. Last show you watched? 

34. Last person you talked to?

35. The relationship between you and the person you last texted?

36. Favourite food?

37. Places you want to visit?

38. Last place you were?

39. Do you have a crush?

40. Last time you kissed someone?

41. Last time you were insulted?

42. Favourite flavour of sweet?

43. What instruments do you play?

44. Favourite piece of jewellery?

45. Last sport you played?

46. Last song you sang?

47. Favourite pick up line?

48. Have you ever used it?

49. Last time you hung out with anyone? 

50. Who should answer these questions next?

Photo by Tim Ronca.

As the end of my degree draws closer, I grow more anxious. What if I screwed up and made the wrong choice? This has been a question that keeps haunting me ever since I started my foundation in 2018. I have always been an indecisive person, I don't know if it's rooted in my many interests in life or the lack of it. When I finished secondary school, I was sure that I never wanted to study anything related to science anymore. But then I entered a foundation that is specified for science, where I could only continue to pursue studies in the field of science. And then when the time came to choose a degree programme when I could choose to study psychology which involves lesser science, I instead chose to study environmental science.

Now, I'm not regretting anything. I've grown so much since I started my foundation, and I've learned the art of trusting Allah's plan, believing that I'm exactly where I am supposed to be right now, that every hardship I'm facing is essential for whatever it is that is coming in my life. I'm grateful for every choice that I made in my life. These days, along with the question I wrote in bold above, another question that keeps popping up is if I'm not where I am supposed to be, then where should I be? Usually, that question comes after I try to convince myself that I am not screwing up, and if I'm screwing up, it's essential for my growth. 

I see friends that seem to be exactly where they want to be. I know some of my friends from secondary school that is actually working so hard towards their dream, towards the place they think they should be at, and I'm envious of them because I don't know where the heck I should be. Is this really the place where I want to be right now? What if I'm wasting my time at this place when I should be somewhere else? Is me questioning this right now a sign that I'm a person without a purpose in life? (No don't go there.)

I wish I can somehow see little pieces of my future. Just to see if I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be and not wasting my time. Maybe I really should invest some time thinking about my long-term goals so that I can plan the most efficient ways to not waste my time to get the place that I think I should be, despite not believing in long-term goals. Or I can just keep convincing myself again and again and again that I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be and try to build a shield for myself somehow (I don't know how), just in case I do screw up. 

Photo by Katya Baydarova.

February was definitely a short one, but many things happened and I also had a lot of fun. I've been watching lots of TV shows I couldn't watch when my semester was still ongoing and some reading too. Sure, compared to my pre-covid usual Februaries, this February was not as eventful as I did stay home 100% for the whole month but you need to enjoy what you get, right? So here are the things that happened in my life in February.

My fifth semester of university ended!

My fifth semester was rough. I caught COVID last December and it totally threw my momentum off. I hate when that happens. I had everything planned out but because I got sick, two weeks' worth of plans got delayed and I completely lost my motivation to continue my study. Nevertheless, I did finish all my coursework and final exams so I'm still patting myself on the back. Overall, I was still in a much better headspace compared to my fourth semester so I hope I'm gonna do better in terms of my CGPA (please send prayers).

So I'm back on The Sims 4... and I'm obsessed

My first matriarch and her first daughter :')

The view of my sims stargazing is the best <3

I installed The Sims 4 on my laptop last July and it was all I cared about last semester break. And then my semester started and I stopped playing for a while but as soon as it ended, I open The Sims 4 right away. I'm doing a Legacy Challenge (read: you need to have 10 generations and stay on the biggest lot, which means that you need to pay a huge amount of property tax without cheating) so I'm just super excited to finish this challenge so that I can start a new challenge peacefully. I'm only on my third generation now, though, so it will probably take another few months for me to finish it😆

I started watching The Office...

I hate the first season with my whole heart but these two? I fell in love with them and started shipping them the second I saw them.

AND IT'S AWESOME. Michael Schur never disappoints. Every sitcom that he wrote freaking slapped. I can't say how this show places in my sitcom ranking yet, but it is good. The first season was so problematic, I'll probably hate it forever but it gets better. Like Better better. The writers created a character that is so unlikeable and problematic but as time goes by, he shows some depth, he grows on you and you absolutely love him with your whole heart but also kind of hate him a little (or a lot, depending on the episode). That is hard to do and I applaud the writers for that. And the side characters? Oh my god, I love them. I started the series thinking "how will the writers make this not boring, they are literally in an office selling papers" but the characters were written so wonderfully so no boring moments at all.

I set up my Notion!

I'm kinda obsessed with how cute my Notion homepage is.

I get insecure about my productivity on a daily basis. I used to think that everything I need to do is all in my brain and I don't need any other tool to help me... but not anymore. Last year, I tried using a planner and although it helped, I found it a bit inflexible. Before that, I tried using a simple notebook to plan my day and that also didn't help so I figured that bullet journaling will not help either. So I'm trying to plan fully digitally this year. At first, I thought of using a spreadsheet since I already know how everything works, but these posts by Fadwa, May, Maha and Kate convinced me to try using Notion instead. I used May's template and altered it to suit my needs. Hopefully, I'll stay consistent this time🤞🏻

Driving to reckless driving by Lizzy McAlpine!

Lizzy McAlpine is one of the musicians I'm currently really into. I discovered her music early last year and her music is just very soothing. She has an angelic voice and I adore the storytelling through her songwriting. Her new album, five seconds flat, is coming in April and I'm so excited about it. The music video of reckless driving is the continuation of three of her previous singles for her upcoming album the storytelling is just *chef's kiss*. The song itself is just as wonderful as the music video and is the perfect song to drive to. Just don't recklessly drive while you're listening to it. Give a listen to her song here!

And that marks the end of this post. I hope that your February also went well, and March goes just as well or better than the previous months!