Have you guys ever felt like there's never going to be anyone for you, ever?
Just a heads up, this post might be cringey for some people so run away as fast as you can if you think this might be a muntah-hijau-worthy post lol. I might delete this post soon but I'm going to see how embarrassed I get by this post first.
If you know me in real life, you'll know I can be a very socially awkward person. I even get awkward talking to my relatives. I get so nervous about talking something someone doesn't wanna hear and I don't wanna hear so usually I just run away from any situation that requires me to talk.
I'm also the kind of person who doesn't just trust people easily. It's good to not trust people too much but when I was in high school, I was so scared to call the friend I had been hanging out all the time with for majority years of high school my best friend even when she was the most trustworthy person I've ever known. On my last year of high school, this boy I had been crushing on for a year talked to me and I'm sure for most people, they'll think OH YEAY HERE'S MY CHANCE but me being me, I got so panicked and half-heartedly replied to all his messages that he eventually gave up, most probably because he thought I wasn't interested. I don't blame him for that because I was the one who was too scared of making an effort.
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| Literally me running away from every relationship I have. |
So to sum it up, I'm bad at relationships. I have a poor communicating skill, barely do anything to improve and that's why I'm going to end up as an old grandma in some small town with many cats and a house filled with books (not that I'm going to complain about the books and cats). I know it's laughable for me to write this when I'm just 18 but hey I need to just say this.
Hence when Taylor Swift's new album, Lover, went out on August 23rd with almost all the songs talking about how in love Taylor is with Joe Alwyn, I couldn't stop thinking Wow, will I ever have that kind of love? An I-once-believed-love-would-be-burning-red-but-it's-golden kind of love? I love what Joe is doing with Taylor, she's literally glowing with love, shining with happiness. Call It What You Want and Delicate from her reputation album made me fall in love with Joe along with Taylor and imagine what Lover did to me😂 By this point, I just want to see them get married and cry watching them be happy together.
Usually, when I listen to a lovey-dovey song, it just makes me happy and wanna dance but Lover made me want to cry because of Heck, I'm going to be alone and lonely forever. Lover is the album you listen to when you're already in love and single and lonely people like me shouldn't listen to it😂 But there's no doubt that Lover is definitely on my Top 4 favourite Taylor Swift's album. So now, my TS albums list by ratings look like this:
1. Red
2. reputation
3. Lover
4. Speak Now
5. Fearless
6. Taylor Swift
7. 1989
It changes a lot of times but for now, it looks like that. If you're feeling lonely and are in need of a cheering up, here's a playlist I made that you might like (been listening to this quite a lot for the past few weeks, not gonna lie):
If you're feeling lonely like me, here's something I keep saying to myself: If Taylor Swift can transform from singing about heartbreaks all the time to this girl who dedicates the majority of songs in her album for a man she's so in love with, there's a chance you'll have your someone too. Okay, this post is officially the weirdest thing I've ever written.
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