Nabila

Almost like I’m missing a limb,
Or missing a bone.
Almost like I’m walking on a rope,
And it’s leading me the way home.

Almost caught a bus to go to you today,
But I didn’t because my friends told me not to.
Almost fought with my closest confidants,
Trying to make sense of and justify all your actions.

Almost said the things on the tip of my tongue,
I could barely speak before you told me not to.
Almost sent you the many poems I wrote about you,
But if they go to you,
They would be erased just like us.

Almost like I’m wishing upon the stars,
But I know that stars don’t talk back.
Almost prayed to God again for you today,
And I did because that’s the only thing I could do.

My rain will end by the new year,
Because by then new leaves would be growing on my branches,
The moist soil below my feet will wet them just right to wake my hibernating spirit,
The sky will cast a brighter kind of light,
And my blue heart will be warm once again.

My storm will end by the new year,
Because by then a lighter breeze will be blown from the North,
The slaps of the wind on my cheek will be gentler;
Instead of rage,
I would feel affection.
Instead of sorrow,
I would feel joy.
Instead of grieving,
I would be praying.

My soul will be replenished by the new year,
With a braver kind of spirit,
With a kinder innate voice that doesn’t seek to ruin me,
I will see colours once again,
There won’t be wars in my head again,
I would learn to breathe again,
Under the coming January’s sky.