on my people-pleasing tendency


I think that wanting to please people is a natural human tendency. You can see it in the way that babies keep walking their little cute walks even after falling on their butt (or sometimes faces) again and again with a big smile on their faces because everyone around them keeps cheering for them. Every oohs and aahs make them happy and even if I don't know what really is going on in a baby's mind, in my theory, it's because they want to keep hearing that oohs and aahs. Is it a bad thing, though? Of course not because they're just babies. When we see this tendency in an older person, though, most people will say that that person "tries too much". Should all of us throw the whole tendency away? If so, how? Is it even possible to not want to please even one person in our lives?

I have a huge tendency to want to please the people around me. And if I think that I didn't please a certain person (even when they say nothing), I have this habit of beating myself up and reliving the particular moment I displease people again and again. It's super tiring. I blame my critical self and mind. Even when I keep telling myself that humans, especially a teenager like me make mistakes all the time, this vicious cycle keeps going around and around.

It's impossible for a person like me to just stop wanting to please people. One thing I learned from some reading, though, is to identify whether someone is worth pleasing all the time. What I mean is, is that person matters that much to me for me to keep wanting to please them? People like my parents, family and friends who have done many good things for me; they should be the people which it's natural for me to want to please, right? Is it worth it to keep wanting to please people who say hateful things to you without any thinkable reasons? If the only reason some people is throwing you hate is as simple as the way you walk, would you ever change the way you walk just to please them? It's different when they only show their concern for good reasons, though, but is it worth it to change something so trivial just to please people who don't really matter to you that much?

If I do so, I'll just waste my energy and time because the harsh and most obvious truth is that, it's impossible to please and impress everyone. Thinking about 1000 different ways I can displease someone is tiring and a huge burden to my mental health. It's impossible for me to stop wanting to please people but I'll decide which people I want to please and not.


  1. " Stop doing things just to impress people if you're not willing to do it. "

    My forever quote that similar to this is, " Do what you love and love what you do."

    1. I agree with your quote, we should always do what we love and love what we do. That's simply one of the ingredients to be happy :)


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